Multi-Culturalism or Just Exactly What Christmahanukwanzaka Means

Multi-culturalism is one of those phrases that’s bandied about a lot these days, but I don't know if most people really know what it means. America is not the melting pot the Baby-Boomers were taught, but rather a tapestry of different ethnic, racial, religious and "lifestyle" backgrounds. Nowhere is that more true than in my house, where mutli-culturalism reigns supreme.

I am in what is euphemistically called "a mixed marriage." I was raised in a Reformed Jewish family and both my parents were from your basic Eastern European stock. Nobody knew exactly where the Austro-Hungarian border was, or the whether the shetle was in Lithuania, Latvia or Russia.

My wife is a Unitarian Universalist, part Sicilian, and part WASP (like she could be a member of the Daughters of the American Revolution WASP). Now, of course, by my reckoning, UUs are almost Reformed Jews but without any of the traditions or any guilt, so we have a relatively normal healthy marriage without too much religious conflict.

We adopted two terrific children, both as newborns. My wife and I are Caucasian, and the kids are both bi-racial so they clearly don't look like us. My daughter's ethnic background is Portuguese American and African; my son's is Eastern European Jewish and African. So if you're keeping score here, two religions, two races and five ethnic identities in a family of four.

We’ve always made a concerted effort to make sure the children were exposed to all elements of their heritage and we feel pretty good about how we handled it. For my kids, (Mia and Leo are adults now), being our own little tapestry of a family hasn't been too much of an issue. Our multi-cultural family hasn't been too much of an issue for our kids' friends either.

One of Leo's best friends since nursery school is Sam. By the time they were 10, the boys had easily known each other over half their lives. Yet, one night, after our families got together along with someone who hadn't met my family all together, the newcomer observed that Leo and Mia must be adopted.

"Leo and Mia are adopted?" blurted out a shocked Sam. "Why do you think they're so much darker -skinned than their parents?" was the reasoned response from Sam's older sister Emma. "Well...........that happens" he stated casually.

Over the years, there have been subtle ways in which we're reminded of just how special our household is.

For instance, when Mia was about 3 1/2 year-old, she lovingly leaned over and kissed her baby brother on the forehead and said, "Leo, ti amo. N'er shel Hanukkah." (for those of you who don’t know minimal Italian or Hebrew, that’s “Leo, I love you. Now, let’s kindle the Hanukkah lights.”) See, Mia knew how to be multi-cultural and cute all at the same time. We're just lucky she didn't feel the need to light him like a candle and blow him out too.

Which brings me to the whole issue of the holidays. Given the philosophical similarities between UUs and Reformed Jews, we decided to raise our children in both religious traditions. That's a decision we have fewer problems with than the organizers of organized religion (actually it was only one or two rabbis who were troubled; the Unitarian Universalists proudly admit they're not Organized). However, what the decision to be inclusive means is we honor all appropriate traditions (and then some) and celebrate the major holidays on both calendars. That, of course, adds a couple of dates to the holiday schedule.

Here for example is what December looks like:

8 nights of Hanukkah
The Winter Solstice (just try finding a goat to sacrifice in December)
Christmas Eve
Christmas Day
Boxing Day (an English cousin)
7 nights of Kwanzaa
New Year's Eve.

If nothing overlaps, that's a total of 20 nights to party. Bottom line: in December, if you can light it, we'll celebrate it.

That, my friends, is the story of Christmahanukwanzaka. And to all, a good night.